Maren's birth

**** I'm finally getting this written and posted. I wrote the first bit a couple weeks after Maren was born. I'm condensing the rest and just getting it written and done with. ****


Warning: do not read on if you don't want to see words like contractions, pain, bodily fluids, blood, gore, etc.

It all started around 4am on Sunday, August 2nd. I woke up (if you can call it waking up- It was a restless, semi sleepless night) feeling some bodily fluid come out of me. I went to the bathroom wondering if by chance I was peeing my pants (but it seemed uncontrollable) or if my water had broken. I looked in the toilet and saw bright red blood and quite a bit of it. I knew something was not right and that this wasn't "normal". I woke up Koby and called the midwife. She told me to come to the hospital right away since it could mean something was going on with the placenta. I grabbed my semi-packed hospital bag, called my dad to have him come stay with the kids, got a blessing from Koby and we headed out the door. I was a little worried about the baby since I hadn't felt her move for awhile. I felt much better once we got to the hospital and heard her little heart beat. I knew everything would be fine at that point.

I was monitored for several hours and then they checked me. My contractions were spaced pretty far apart (9 or 10 min.) so I think they were thinking I was going home, but instead I was at a 5! I was admitted and given a birthing room.

We made a bunch of phone calls to let people know we were having a baby.

My mom and mom-in-law came to support me. My midwife (1 of 6) Claudia Killebrew came and talked with me for quite awhile about what I wanted with this birth. I was leery at first about her being the one to deliver Maren (she wasn't one of my favorite midwives from the office visits) but I quickly warmed up to her and her totally supporting me in whatever I wanted. She and I were thinking I would go for the epidural but since my contractions were not hurting, we decided to wait and see how things moved along.

I did a lot of walking the halls. I was the ONLY patient on the delivery floor which was pretty rare. The nurses were pretty bored. My contractions were still only 6-7 min apart and I was slowly dilating. I tried different positions and techniques to get my contractions closer together including walking, squatting and getting in the bath. Some things worked and increased my contractions to 3 min. apart but then they started to slow down again.


Dr. Parker, who was on call that weekend, had to stay in the hospital while I was in labor. He wasn't too happy about that since his grandson was blessed that morning. He was anxious to get home and my slow labor wasn't helping his attitude. I love Dr. Parker but he annoyed me that day since he wanted to get me on pitocin or break my water, right away. He hadn't even been in the hospital for 5 min. when he was ordering me around. Claudia talked to me about my options, saying I was progressing even though it was slow but that we should have a game plan on what to do if I was progressing really slow still (this was at 2 pm and I was dilated to a 7). She wanted to go with my wishes but was obviously being pressured by Dr. Parker. Grrrrr. If I hadn't had 2 good births with Dr. Parker, I would have been really mad at him. Anyhow, I told Claudia that I wanted one more hour to see if I could get my contractions closer together again and after that we would do pitocin or break my water. Dr. Parker came in again, we told him the plan, he was pretty frustrated saying he was worried I would be too tired to push if I waited too long (I wasn't tired at all!) and that it would be putting stress on my incision. All a bunch of bull honkey, but the guy just wanted to go home. I don't really blame him. Anyhow, I got my way, we went another hour and some but I didn't progress much. I decided to have my water broken even though I knew what was coming- PAIN! That was the one thing I hated with Kallie's birth. Dr. Parker had broken my water at 3 cm dilation and it was all over after that. I had to get the epidural. I decided that breaking my water would be more "natural" since the Claudia was surprised it hadn't broken already, and I figured it had to break anyway for Maren to even be born. I didn't want the pitocin. They broke my water, I immediately started having huge, hard and close contractions, and I died. Or at least I wanted to die. Claudia was right there with me, holding my hand, showing Koby were to put counter pressure on my knees, how to get through the contractions, etc. At this point I was ready to get the epidural like planned. Claudia told me that I was going through transition and that it would all be over really soon. She knew I wanted to go natural and reassured me that I could do it, but I could pick what I wanted. I got through one contraction after another, wondering if it would EVER end. I kept screaming "Oh my gosh! What am I doing!" I swear I was screaming like a mad lady but others said I wasn't and I did really well. All I know is that I wanted to die with each contraction. :) I didn't even want to bother with an epidural though because that would mean I would have to move and I wanted to just hold on to the side of the bed with all my might. I was completely dilated except for a little lip so I was on my side for awhile with the contractions. Finally I could start pushing but they kept me on my side to push so that Maren could turn her head a bit. The really neat part was that they didn't take apart the bed or anything and I wasn't in stirrups. Claudia was amazing in telling me what to do, how to breath, etc. It was one hour from the time they broke my water at 7 or 8 cm, to Maren's birth so it all happened really fast but it was the longest hour of my life.

The feeling of the baby coming out was unreal. Incredibly painful (the ring of fire- yikes!) and she made me push a few times, breath her out at the end and wait awhile.... that was one of the longest minutes of my life, but Maren was born and I only had one stitch! I was able to hold Maren right away, they worked on her while she laid on my stomach, and I was able to look into her eyes right away. I could not believe I had a baby. I was in complete shock that she was finally here. She was so beautiful and just took everything in with her big eyes. She took to nursing immediately and was alert for at least 4 hours. It was amazing.

Maren was 19.5 in. long and 7lbs. 14 oz. (same as me as a baby) with lots of dark hair. It was an amazing experience and an amazing birth. It was all I could have dreamed about. I never, ever thought I would have Maren naturally- I gave up all those plans as soon as I started having the prepartum anxiety/depression. I had not prepared at all and I didn't learn a coping method like the Babywise hypnobirthing lessons I had sitting at home, unused. Anyhow, I know there was no way I could have had Maren naturally if it hadn't been for my slow labor, my support from family there in the room, and my amazing midwife. It was a true miracle to me that I was able to have that experience. Just like Maren is a true miracle in my life. Aw, warm fuzzies!