Sucker for the funnies

I am a sucker for funny reads (who isn't?). Let me indulge with a few forwards I have received recently. Have a happy, sunny day, even if it is cloudy outside.


AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
by using the shower.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent
you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then
you will be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If
it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and
does, use the duct tape.

**Daily Thought:** SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. THEY'RE NOT REALLY
GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED
DOWN THE STAIRS.





A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his = wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2007

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!